Sheep Are Funny
I know a pastor who is wont to say the title of this post quite frequently when the topic of a conversation is about congregations. He doesn’t mean it in a comical way when he says “sheep are funny”. He means it in the way of sheep acting funny sometimes.
No one will ever be able to figure out people. Though I think I’m smart enough to do it, I am not. I should quit, but I don’t. Here and my previous congregation there were and are people who flat out don’t like me. It’s nothing personal, it’s just business. Maybe I said something they found offensive. Maybe I looked at them the wrong way. Maybe I mishandled a situation. I’m human. I make mistakes.
Then there are cases where people believe the pastor is out to get his way and doesn’t care who gets hurt along the way. Rare are those cases, God be praised.
Nonetheless, it’s hard when you deal with people that each have different personalities. I want to be liked. Shucks, I need to be liked. When someone doesn’t like me, that’s a problem. I need to get over it, but I can’t.
What’s a fellow to do? Keep on keepin’ on, I suppose.
How do you handle conflict? Are you passive aggressive like many? Do you take conflict head on and solve it? What if you do take it head on and your attempt fails? What next?
I’d love to see your thoughts.
Please note that I may not get to your comments right away. I have a busy week and won’t be near a computer.
-KT
Know Thyself 
June 14, 2009 at 8:51 pm
I hate conflict. It gets my anxiety all riled up. My heart rate goes up like I am running a marathon just thinking about what is happening. I try to avoid it whenever possible and usually work to make peace before I address things head on. However, as we all know, conflict is a part of life and as a result, it has to be dealt with. I find myself trying too hard to avoid it and usually that is when I do deal with it head on. First, I try to make sure that I am as calm as possible when dealing with it as well as making sure that it is not an emotionally charged time. If emotions are running high, that’s when problems happen, so I take a physically or mental “time out” from the situation for a little while. This helps me keep a clear head. Then, when it’s time to hash out the situation, I try to make sure that I do two things. First, I make sure to use the “I feel…” statements so that I do not attack the other person. With that, the words “always” and “never” are banned. Absolutes only exaggerate the situation and do nothing to help the conflict be resolved. The second thing I do is to sum up what the other person is saying, even if they do not do that for me. This helps keep the situation calm as well as create understanding and cut out the misunderstandings that are frequent in conflict.
There are some people, however, that this doesn’t work on. Those people are the ones who thrive on conflict and get their kicks on creating waves on calm waters. Those are the people, after trying hard to resolve things the other way, I learn to ignore and not worry about. There is one such lady at my work right now who just loves to fight and make others miserable. I avoid her and treat her (mostly- after all, I am a sinner!) with kindness, no matter how mad she makes me! Avoidance of those people seems to be the best course of action.