I Lost It

I lost it Saturday night. I’m not happy with myself.

One of our children gave us a run for our money. The child in question does not understand manners, obedience, etc. Mother has had enough of it. So has dad. The limit testing continued Saturday night during the bedtime routine. Child likes to cry when child doesn’t get their way. I raised my voice quite loud. I was not going to allow the child to outloud me. My wife was afraid. The windows were open. People might hear me scream at our child.

As soon as I calmed down I knew I did the wrong thing. Our child tells me “Daddy, I don’t like it when you talk loud to me.” Hugs, kisses, apologies, forgiveness. Today was a much better day.

Mommy has been under quite a lot of stress because of our child testing the boundaries. I was going to put a stop to it. Instead of putting a stop to it, I lost it. I assure you it was not a pleasant moment.

Anger and frustration remain a weak spot. What comes off as passion for something often is mistaken for anger. There was no mistaking my anger last night. Thank God for Holy Communion today. I spoke the usual blessing over our children at the rail:

N., be of good cheer. Your sins are forgiven. Depart in peace.

God give me strength not to lose it any time soon. I feel awful when it happens. It makes my wife cry and our children sad.

Lord have mercy. Christ have mercy. Lord have mercy.

-KT

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One Response to “I Lost It”

  1. I thought I might give a couple of helpful hints for the “next time”. I am a daycare worker and take care of 18-24 month olds. I deal with lots of tears and fits when things go sour, so honestly, I am sort of immune to them when I start to work in the preschool rooms. Here’s a couple of things that help me keep my cool when it is almost impossible!

    * You do it or I do it. Tell the child they have a choice. They can either obey what you are telling them to do or you will do it for them. Be prepared to do it the first few times. They’ll catch on soon enough.

    * Choices. Only give choices if they really are present. Sometimes the choice can be between a consequence and a reward. “You can either go to bed now and I’ll read you a story or you can fight me and I will not read you a story.” Don’t give choices that are not valid, that will only put you in a bind.

    *Ignore crying. I know that sounds harsh, but first check the child to make sure there is no injury and no real reason for them to be crying. Then simply leave the child in their room and walk out. The first couple of times, they will try to milk that crying for what it is worth, but after this is done consistently, they will learn that crying will get them no where. I do this alot for the little ones because even at that age, original sin is present. 😉

    *Ignore bad behavior as much as possible. Sometimes bad behavior must be dealt with in the moment, there’s no doubt. However, if you know the child is doing it just to get your goat, pretend everything is fine. Don’t acknowledge anything. They’ll get the hint that it’s not acceptable.

    There are others, I am sure of it! But, I have to get ready for work. Lemme know if there is anything I can clarify!

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