The Gorilla Is Gone

For almost two years I’ve felt like there’s been an 800 pound gorilla on my shoulders. I’ve felt like everything in my congregation has depended on me. It’s not so much as if I am indispensible. It’s as if things won’t get done unless I do it. That’s how other pastors did things around here. If it were so, then I am a miserable failure.

I was telling the therapist the other day that much of the anxiety that I have about the gorilla is gone. What gets done, gets done. I don’t have to do everything to feel like something is accomplished. I can delegate. Even when I delegate and things don’t get done, I can encourage those people doing what is delegated to do what’s given to them. But it’s not my fault. It’s not my fault! Let me say it again: IT’S NOT MY FAULT!

There. That felt really good.

The success or failure of the congregation I serve does not depend on me and how much I should do. We are who we are. We can’t bring back the past. We can’t rush the future. We must be who we are right now. I can’t tell you how refreshing that is!

In 36 hours I will be someplace other than where I am right now. It will be good to get away for a while. Please say a prayer for me while I’m gone. It won’t hurt!

-KT

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