That Old Time Feeling

Anxiety has been fighting its way back into my life the past couple of days. Just when I thought I had anxiety licked, it creeps in on cat’s feet.

I won’t go into details as to how or why, but know that the Ministry sometimes isn’t all fun and games. We pastors deal with people’s souls. Dealing with souls is a very difficult thing. When difficulty strikes, in my case, anxiety comes rolling back with a vengeance.

The strangest thing happened. My anxiety disappeared this afternoon while on pastoral duties. I did what had to be done. No more me being a nervous wreck. What did I do? I treated myself. I went and got something I’ve wanted for a while. I’ve learned it’s OK to treat yourself when you accomplish a goal. But let that treating be within reason, else the privilege of a treat becomes a right.

I recall how it was to live under anxiety’s pall. It’s not a neighborhood I’d like to visit again. One thing that did help this afternoon was turning off the rock and roll and turning on soothing classical music. The hectic beat and instrumentation of rock would have wound me up more than I need. The soothing classical music (and the soothing DJ voice) help keep me on an even emotional keel. The music was the proper tonic to fight anxiety and do what needed to be done.

Medicine can only do so much. Talking through it can only do so much. Doing what one can as God gives one light does a lot to help me push away that old time feeling of anxiety and dread and press on toward the goal of better knowing myself.

-KT

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One Response to “That Old Time Feeling”

  1. KT,

    For some, when the anxiety is gone, it’s gone. They are relatively cured and things “go back to normal”. But it isn’t this way for everyone. There will be those who will struggle with this for the rest of their lives. Things that they thought they learned will be relearned again and again with regards to dealing with anxiety. It’s not fun, but it is a part of life and a gift from God. Anxiety is a normal every day part of life. Everyone has it from the little baby to the elderly woman. The catch is that those with a disorder have it magnified- sometimes a little and sometimes a lot. This is when it is easy to fall back on old habits and rely on coping strategies that are not helpful nor healthy. However, those who are working to contain the beast known as anxiety are also usually beginning to learn new coping strategies. With this knowledge comes the ability to stop the anxiety in its tracks, to contain it, or better to make it go away completely. It isn’t easy and it is a roller coaster ride at times with successes and failures, however, with God’s help, it can be done. It sounds like you are well on your way!

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