Handy Man Negri I’m Not

There was a little project that needed to be done around the house this weekend. I’ve done this project several times around the house. I believe this will be the last time said project needed to be done.

The last few times I handled the project there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth between my wife and I. We mismeasured. We forgot an important step. We didn’t do it the right way. This led to raised voices and tears.

The tears were all from my wife because I yelled at what I perceived to be incompetence. I knew what I was doing and she didn’t. Venting my frustrations at her was the only way I felt good. Sadly my venting was not for her benefit. The next thing I knew I was apologizing for my yelling and her crying.

Flash forward to this weekend. Yes, there was a mistake made. No, it wasn’t my mistake. My wife felt bad about her mistake. But there was no yelling, no bloodletting, and no apologies. I took care of the problem. She wanted to cry, but I told her there was nothing to cry about. It was a simple mistake anyone could make, even me! The problem was solved and the project completed.

I couldn’t believe my wife nearly cried over something so simple. But that shows how things used to be handled around here. Echoes of past bad experiences still hang around my wife’s memory.

What a fool I was for screaming and throwing a fit over something so silly. It shows how sick I was the last time we tackled this particular project. The only way I felt better was screaming about someone else’s incompetence. The immaturity of my tantrum was the real problem. Medicine helps. So does behavior modification.

I suppose changing my behavior has been the unsung hero of knowing myself better. Every little spanner in the works is not the end of the world. My family does not live on Drama Island. I look past the problem toward a solution. I try not to dread, but do something instead. Most of the time when there is fault it’s probably mine.

I can’t believe what a difference medicine and behavior modification has made in my life. It’s not all pharmaceutical change, believe me! Channeling my negative energy toward a positive solution reaps benefits. Perhaps my wife’s near tears weren’t so much over expected yelling but unexpected consolation for her minor mistake that was easily fixed.

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13 NKJV)



3 Responses to “Handy Man Negri I’m Not”

  1. KT-

    That’s awesome! I just had a thought, though. I feel like I am coming in at the end of the story where there’s a “happily ever after” in sight. Could you tell us more about the journey to how you got to this point?

    • Telling about some of what brought me to this moment would come close to violating my right to anonymity. But I will begin to talk about how I came to realize I was sick sometime soon. Stay tuned!

  2. Works for me! I don’t want to expose you in any way! It was more a curiosity thing as it is such a good thing when we come to this point! I just thought it might help the journey of some who aren’t at the “happily ever after” yet! There are still others who are on this bumpy path (myself included). I have good days, good months, even good years, and then I must relearn the things I have been over before. Reflecting on it has also helped me “keep on task” and not take a few steps backward that would land me back where I was before. But please, don’t share any of it if it would cause you to reveal your identity. I know why you do it and I don’t blame you one bit!

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