Rev. Larry Peters of Grace Church in Clarksville, TN has a fantastic post about what to take seriously in Church work.
The more Pr. Peters posts, the more I am impressed with his wisdom and love for the body of Christ. Please visit his blog and see for yourself.
-KT
A new book by Pr. Matthew Harrison arrived a while back. The book is called “At Home in the House of My Fathers“. It’s a collection of mostly untranslated writings from Missouri Synod fathers up to circa 1935.
The above link sends you to some audio snippets from the book. I encourage you to listen to “Walther’s Breakdown“. This isn’t a bluegrass tune. This is a letter C.F.W. Walther writes to his congregation in St. Louis, MO about his impending departure away from duties so he may recuperate from depression. It is nothing short of a love letter to his congregation. It drips of pastoral concern and consolation.
Depression was real in the 19th century. It is real today. Depression attacks pastors as it attacks any other person. Perhaps it attacks pastors harder. I don’t know. I can only speak for myself.
Listen. Listen to how Walther loves his flock as they love him with great concern for his mental health. God give us the strength and courage to love all those who suffer from mental illness!
-KT
I missed you. It’s been a while since last I wrote. Many things have happened.
My wife and I had a “come to Jesus” talk a while back about my Internet addiction. I spend countless hours of my free time surfing the Internet rather than spending time with family. She had had enough of that. I’ve been careful to monitor my time, yet I still slip into old habits that die hard. I’m working on it. I ask for your prayers to be more attentive to the needs of my family rather than my own selfish ways.
I finished my final round of Doxology training. For my non-Lutheran readers, Doxology is a program for pastors studying where the classic care of souls meets Christian psychology. It’s a fantastic program that is bound to impact pastors and their congregations in a positive way.
I’ve had an issue in my parish for some time with one particular family. There has been no resolution to the situation and the whole thing has been on and off my mind for quite some time. I’ve done all that I can do to make it better. I leave the whole thing in God’s Hands.
While there has been disappointment, there has also been joy. I love my congregation dearly. They have been so good to me and to my family. Those things I could complain about is nothing compared to what others suffer. I pray for my brother pastors in strife where they serve. I pray for my brother pastors who struggle with their vocation too.
I struggle with my health. I’ve picked up some pounds lately that need to be dropped. I’m lazy to exercise. I don’t want to exert the needed energy to walk, ride a bike, or do some other activity. The activities I like to do aren’t what you call “exercise”. At least I make an attempt to be active. God be praised that I haven’t had the nasty virii floating around.
As the days grow shorter, I hope to write a bit more about my illness and how I’m working through it. I don’t like dreary days, but that’s what I expect over the next few months. Time to keep positive, stay in God’s Word, and serve my vocation to the best of my ability.
I hope today finds you well. This All Saints Day I fondly remember my family members who have died in the faith, especially my paternal grandparents, one of whom (grandpa) I never met. He died long before I was born. Mara natha.
-KT
That’s the response I got when I “friended” on Facebook someone I knew in college. I suppose this means my friend is stunned that I entered the Holy Ministry. My Facebook friend’s response has been the most vocal so far of those whom I lost contact with years ago.
There are days when I wake up and say something similar to the title of this post. I have to do what’s been given me to do. Sometimes it’s pleasant, sometimes it’s not pleasant. There are days when I wish I could play card games on the Internet instead of reading, praying, or studying. There are days when an act of God is almost necessary for me to visit shut-ins.
I rag on myself about being lazy. At least I am trying is the response some friends give me. I suppose trying counts rather than giving up and letting another agenda take over my day.
If you knew me “back in the day”, chances are you wouldn’t be surprised I ended up a pastor. There are those who are stunned that the Lord would use a rotten, filthy, conniving toad like me to preach the Gospel and administer the Sacraments. Consider Saint Paul. Consider Saint Augustine. Consider Blessed Martin Luther. That fellow had quite a mouth on him!
That’s the Theology of the Cross for you. God uses the least likeliest of people to deliver the blessed Gifts of forgiveness and eternal life. Thanks be to God for all His faithful pastors and people, especially those who struggle daily with mental wellness.
-KT
Today I told my Sunday morning Bible Study about my illness. Most, if not all, of them knew I am sick. They didn’t know much about my illness. Now they do.
It came as a total surprise, even to me. I was grasping for something to talk about as we finished up our summer study last week. I talked about Pr. Peperkorn’s book and related some of my experiences with his. It opened a door to talk about depression and how it affects clergy, especially how it still affects me.
I was surprised at how well they took the news. One member asked to lead a prayer after the study. He prayed for me…almost in tears. Same with everyone else. Never before have I received more hugs in church than I did today. It felt good.
It doesn’t bother me to “tell my story”. If one person finds wellness through this blog or through someone else talking about depression and anxiety, then my work is done. I’m glad to have the opportunity to talk about facing one’s fears and admitting an illness.
-KT
I forgot to take my medicine one day this past week. That’s the first time in a long time. As I’ve written before, it doesn’t take long for me to realize when I forget to take the pill that helps me hang on.
I didn’t realize my mistake until this morning when I noticed a rattle in my pill minder. I don’t want that happening too often. But it’s nice to know that I can function without a pill.
Thought you would like to know!
-KT
I’ve often wondered if one of the causes of my depression has been where I once served as pastor. It was my first Call out of seminary. There were many things I loved about serving there. There were some things that made my years there difficult. The difficult times weigh on my memory more than the happy times.
Now that some time has passed since I left there, I have come to terms with the years I served there. I saw a couple from my former parish last weekend. It was good to see them. I thought there might be some bitterness, but none was evident. I also talked on the telephone with someone from my former parish this week. Again, it was good to touch base with them.
The hurt and pain of what I went through (or perhaps what I brought on myself) is almost gone, praise God! Time does heal wounds. The next leap is to return there someday to see people face-to-face. I don’t know when that will happen, but someday.
There may be pastors who could never do what I want to do. Their wounds will always stay fresh. I pray for my brothers who were or are hurt while feeding their flock. There are brighter days ahead.
-KT
A couple of weekends ago I was in sheer misery. Attendance in church was at an all-time low. I began to question whether or not I was in the right place. It was awful. Many of you were kind to send words of encouragement. Thank you. They mean a lot.
The last couple of weekends have been much better. Attendance at church is up. I’m sure many of my flock are concluding vacations and settling into their normal routine, whatever normal might be. As for me, I’m coming off some time away totally refreshed and ready to be more vigilant with a schedule, making lists of things to do, and carving out time to read as well as time with my children and my spouse.
Wherever you are, whatever you are doing, I hope your week goes well.
-KT
I stepped away from the computer for a few days of rest and relaxation. That’s exactly what I received while away. Within 24 to 36 hours of departing home I began to think clearly about what needed to be done once I returned home. I started to make a mental list about whom to call, whom to write, how should I go about doing something, etc. It was good not to have scrambled brains for once.
Now I’m back and ready to get at the daily tasks. It’s good to step away for a while to refocus and recharge. I’ll never understand why some pastors are not comfortable taking vacations or prefer to take “staycations”, turning off the phone and sitting around the house doing nothing. When I take time off, I get out of town! I take some reading along and check the answering machine once every other day, but for the most part I try to concentrate on resting and relaxing. Mission accomplished.
-KT
I’m stepping away from the computer for a while. I’ll be back before you know it.
-KT
